136 Comments
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Emile Laine's avatar

Oh, Flint and Xilo, I wish more people would live their lives with curiosity and empathy like you two. Also the pictures and captions made me laugh out loud multiple times.

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N. Prado's avatar

Excellent storytelling, I am so ADHD, and this story kept my attention all the way to the end. I even started it on IG and had to come find you on SS to finish it 🥂

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Flint Del Sol's avatar

High praise! Thank you!

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Maggie's avatar

+1 to this!!! Really great storytelling.

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SG's avatar

Same!

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Kait Mize's avatar

Thank you for this story. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve wanted to unleash on a ridiculous, hateful, ignorant person I’d be a rich woman. This story gives me confidence that with the right approach, we can all make up a little bit of ground toward getting folks back to reality.

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Paolo Mercado's avatar

Recently had a long heated exchange with my dad who is in that other reality. This story nearly brought tears to my eyes; I wish I read it before engaging with him. That you and Xilo kept your cool through it all is impressive.

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Flint Del Sol's avatar

It was SUPER helpful that this man wasn’t our father. That’s for another article 😬😬😬

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Camilla W's avatar

Joyful reading and such a fresh approach to respectfully trying to understand. You are so accurate in your analyses of where the breakdown comes from. This was a true example of how accepting differences and leaving space for growth can happen if we are open to it. As a retired ECE educator I value your strength, bravado and skill in asking those questions that guide this human to other possibilities. Can’t wait to read your book.

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hope.ripples's avatar

Thanks for covering this. I'm in a very red state and I spend a lot of time in male spaces (I'm a ciswoman) and it's interesting to see how far you can get with a man when he accepts you as a person worthy of listening to. I spend a lot of my time trying to walk these men to seeing me as a person and it fails most of the time, but it's good to see that if I could get men to walk other men to the conclusion, they might get it.

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Maggie's avatar

I admire the shit out of folks like you (my partner is really good at this as well), who can stay calm and present amidst the inflammatory rhetoric and just be human and connect. I’d really love to learn how to be better at this. Thank you for sharing this story.

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Alice Prevo's avatar

Thanks so much for sharing this encounter, and for making the effort.

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Kelly Ortiz's avatar

As an educator both in the classroom and the community, I found that when I approach people through the lens of educating, with patience and scaffolding, you can close the gap. While my insides may be burning, I test people to see if they are willing to have a growth mindset. If they do, I baby step my way to where I want to get them. Sometimes it’s in one conversation, sometimes it’s over months. However, “any progress is good progress,” as I like to say to my special needs students. I will be purchasing your book too because you’re an engaging writer and I can’t wait! It has been great watching your evolution over the years, I think I met you around the time when your hair had some pink (not blue) in it. :) Keep up the great work, both of you!

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Mara's avatar

Oh wow. This is making me realise that the years of having “conversations” with my father who has a skewed preference of reality in a different way has built this muscle for me. I honestly have never seen it laid out this way before and thought that by not addressing every single batshit statement he makes made me bad or weak - but how you described it is exactly my train of thinking in the moment. Thank you!!! 💕

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Jocelyn Millis's avatar

This was definitely worthwhile. Getting a man so isolated in the hole Fox has created for him to admit he liked to breathe fresh air during the Obama administration is a small step for humanity ♥️

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Chris Ann's avatar

I’m just an old white woman that leans very left. I applaud your tact and restraint. I need to study how to apply it in my life. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Nicholas Whitaker's avatar

This was an excellent read. I have a Trumper in my life that I've been wanting to engage with and I'll be using these methods as a guide. Thanks for the work you're doing in the world, and safe travels out there , 💕

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Monisha Mittal's avatar

Way to go! My quiet passion is communications and I especially enjoyed how you touched on the nuanced choices you made in real time in this conversation. I love that you created a common enemy (that's what the GOP did in convincing them the Dems were the enemy) but more than that, knew when you stay neutral and when to step on the gas. :) And yes, excellent story telling.

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Cassandra Speaks's avatar

I had to force myself to keep reading, as I immediately just wanted to reply and tell you how much I Thoroughly! Enjoyed your words! 🙌🫂🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💕🇨🇦

Washington state is just below us! I am on Vancouver Island, and humans like you and your husband are why I love socializing! 🥰🕊️💫💃

I am standing and applauding you! 💕💕💕💕

Hugs from Canada! 🇨🇦💕🫂

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Richard's avatar

I love your tale. If you are still around the Bham area and are a purveyor of alcohol you should look up El Suenito Brewing Company. They are an lgbtq+ friendly brewery and an all around great place. My trans daughter in law and lesbian daughter from Vancouver took us there a few weeks ago. My wife and I have been nomads for the past 4 years and make our home just north of Bham now. Stay strong and remember that you have support out here.

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